So Tired.... And Rice Pudding.

I spent a long weekend last weekend at Cameron and Dream Weaver's place helping them dig out and reorganize their shed and Cameron's studio. While I am not sedentary, I tend towards a slightly lazy lifestyle, and am not much for exercise per say on a regular basis. I enjoyed staying with them, talking and listening to music and hauling boxes like crazy.
(It actually got to the point where I, the bibliophile, responded the the announcement that there was another box of books with "Oh, fuck.")
I am sore, tired, and happy.

On another note, Da has made rice pudding. It's been since I was Klepto's age that I last had rice pudding, and I can't say that I appreciated it all that much then. The school does a poor, burned imitation of rice pudding on occasion, and I've learned to avoid it.
However.
This was delicious, rapturous, sweet and textured and fruity and nutty and NOMS!!!!

I am happy.

gnaw, ganw, gnaw

...that is the sound of me gnawing on heads.

I had rather a bit of a post on my gender issues, thoughts, etc... and then I thought I saved it in drafts and shut down my computer last night for some much needed sleep. I get back on and there's the title, there're the tags, but noooooo post. Crap. Double crap. Scratch that, start over; I'll put it up when I get it done.

Gnaw.

They Keep Telling Me I'm an Adult, But I Don't Believe Them

My twentieth birthday was last week. I am no longer a teenager.
Whee?
I feel like I'm growing out of the house; I've already decided I'm staying at College next summer and working as a counselor at the summer arts program they run for kids. I would have this summer, but chickened out/procrastinated (shocker, I know) and didn't get the application in on time. I won't be able to do the house-sitting for my Psych teacher as I have for the past 3 years, but the money and the DISTANCE and the autonomy are all greater at school.

I got very happy-inducing gifts: money from the grands, which will almost exclusively go to things of which they would not approve, but which I will couch in neutral terms in letters. GLBT fiction and non-fiction become "books," and the corset I have been planning for for a year is "clothing."
My Mum, wonderful creature, got me 2 farcical ("Farcical aquatic ceremony!") comedies: Galaxy Quest and Dogma ("Outdated imperialist dogma!"...I do love the peasant). It is absolute coincidence that Alan Rickman stars in both of these. Total coincidence. Happiest pf all, I now have my own Heather Alexander CD! I'm vaguely embarrassed of the noise I made when I opened it... but only vaguely. Dad didn't need those eardrums anyway.

**Spoiler alert ahead for Dies the Fire series**

I've finished the Dies the Fire trilogy, and now wish to hunt down S.M. Stirling and beat him about the head and shoulders for ending the books with a bloody funeral, wedding, and ominous vision. Seriously, there are too many loose ends! What's the next book/trilogy in the series? Grah!

**End Spoilers**

This past week I sat in at a counseling office as a stand-in receptionist/gopher/paperwork minion. It was interesting, enlightening, and slightly bewildering.
(The fax machine is an evil, evil creature, and We do not understand its devious ways. In fact, We think that it it took a long walk out a close window, the world would be a better place. But that's just Our opinion.)
Paperwork is much easier.

I've made mention of doing a post that delves into my internal gender issues, and I will. Just not today, and not until I have a much longer stretch of free time, and less S.M. Stirling eminently on the brain.

Laters.
~Brill

Double Take

Yesterday I saw one of the most stupid vehicular decisions I have ever had the misfortune to witness. On the way back to the place I'm house-sitting this week, I came up behind an old, red, beat-up minivan that looked to be from the early 90s at the latest. It was going slower that I, and I was stuck behind it for a number of blocks. As it turned, I noticed that this old, beat-up vehicle -a van that had barely gone the speed limit if that- had a huge spoiler bolted onto the roof.
Wishful, wishful thinking.

Patched together

I have a pair of pants I love. Several, actually, but this one of one of my oldest. I got it in my freshman year of HS and it was a second-hand acquisition then. An upperclassman friend of mine whom I'd known almost as long as we'd lived in town and whose family at this time attended the same church as mine often gave me clothes she'd grown out of, and we were fairly good friends. Still are friends, but she just graduated from the local college, and we've drifted apart as people do.
Back to the pants, these were a comfy canvas pair of cargo pants, khaki and baggy and heavy. I loved them, and wore them often in the ensuing 5 years. Flower (who shares the name of the giver of the pants, incidentally) wrote in one of the zip-up slits in the side "I LOVE YOU!" as she and other friends have done on a few pairs of my pants.
Well, canvas is tough, but it is mortal. This past year I have had to re-stitch both inseams to various degrees, and mend a rip parallel to the inseam. However, the fabric itself gave up the ghost this last semester, and the resulting hole in the uppermost inner right thigh was large enough for my entire arm to fit through it. So today while HyperSpawn was in Summer program and KleptoSpawn was having MORE psychiatric evaluations (be afraid, be very afraid), I fixed up a patch from some canvas-y stuff (two, actually... the first was too small) and fixed my pants. I am happy and feel both accomplished and very, very frayed.
This last is probably due in part to the return of my cycle, but though I feel and look fine superficially, I feel as though I am a dark and angry river, frozen on the surface to mask the frustration and undirected anger below. I am ready to lash out and consume the first hapless passerby to disturb my fictitious calm. I am confused and frustrated; I hate this combination. It is what made math Hell for most of my classes, and did the same for much of my early social interactions. Maybe I just hate people. Misanthropy is a pretty word -- words are nicer than people.
Guh.
I need to let off steam in a controlled way, not aimed at a live person. I have an idea from something I saw in a friend's LJ, sadly enough. I might go write anonymous angry things to myself until I feel better. It's worked before.

Later, hopefully not over a month again.
~Brill

I Winned!

I won the ceramics prize in the Student Juried Art Show! Wheee! I have a pretty certificate and a $100 check on the way, which should cover art expenses with some left over to actually *gasp* save! AWA and Big Sis/Little Sis week are approaching very quickly.

Eep!

Now, I may or may not have mentioned this on here before, but I'm an art major. Shocking revelation, no? Specifically, I am a Studio Art major, Bachelor of Fine Arts track. The BFA program has a much stronger focus on the studio time than does the BA degree. 30 hours more, to be precise, and all but one class of it studio. As a BFA student, I have to undergo a process of evaluation and validation (of my work) by art faculty in order to 'officially' be declared BFA. I have up 'til now been under the impression, given to me by members of the faculty and by students, that the BFA reviews were in the Fall or Spring of my Junior year (next year, NOT this). A few of us got an email this morning informing us that, Congratulations, we have reached the point where we are eligible for BFA review. Our submissions for the review are due (matted if 2D) on April 17th. (Incidentally, this is also National Day of Silence, in which I hope to participate this year).
O.O
urk. eep. ulp.
We have to have 10 pieces for the review. I don't know if I HAVE ten quality pieces, and DEFINITELY not matted. I have a lot to do in the next month. Mattboard isn't cheap, either, and I had gotten mine at cost from the school, but I'm pretty sure the Photo prof doesn't have any now.
I really, sincerely, and deeply hope that we have a glaze firing before April! I'm going to add independent handbuilding onto what I'm already doing in my Ceramics 2 class (throwing only) and hope I can get some more pieces done there in time.

In addition to the BFA review, this weekend is the submission deadline for the campus Student Juried Art Show. All 2D work (the only kind I have with me; 3D work is in Gwood) has to be matted, framed, and ready for hanging. Mine is only matted, and framing is pricey. This is the second show I was NOT going to be able to enter, when Monkey said her parents were coming down on Saturday and they said they would bring my work. Happyjoy! I'm debating on whether or not to put prices on anything or mark it all "Not For Sale." I will need some to enter in the BFA review, but I want to make back the entry price.... Decicions, decisions.

But I go for sushi tonight, so everything is copacetic now.
Laters. Much, much later.
~Brill